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Peer Review of Justin L: Memoir 2024 “Rough Draft”

Hi Justin,

After reading your rough draft, I can understand exactly where you are coming from regarding the heritage piece and having to translate in the store for your Avo. I think what you have is a great story but could use a little tweaking.

Specifically, in your descriptions, while you listed everything that she would do or use, there wasn’t much about the colors, the smells, and the taste aside from how you liked it and that it had a “tangy aroma.” Those are great descriptions, and I think if you expanded on them some more, it would help transport the reader to your Avo’s kitchen. It might help if you described a specific time when you sat with your family eating the soup; it would help you with the imagery.

Aside from that, I would suggest separating your paragraphs and sticking to one version of the word for grandmother. Vavo, Avo, or grandmother—maybe put Avo in the beginning (Portuguese for grandmother) and then stick with Avo for the rest of the story so as not to trip the reader up. If they don’t speak Portuguese, they may not understand that they all mean grandmother.

Again, I enjoyed your story, and I can tell how much your family and Avo, as well as what her kale soup, means to you. I hope this helps you.

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Essay 1 Rough draft

Cooking with mom is more than just preparing a meal; it’s an act of love and tradition, a ritual that weaves together flavors and memories. Today, we’re making kale soup, a dish that’s as nourishing for the soul as it is for the body.


The kitchen is warm, filled with the comforting hum of the refrigerator and the soft clinking of utensils. Mom stands at the counter, her hands expertly tearing the kale into bite-sized pieces, each movement a silent testament to the years she’s spent feeding our family. I watch her for a moment, taking in the scene. The kale is a vibrant green, like the color of spring just after a rain.


“Wash these for me, will you?” she asks, handing me the leaves. As I rinse them under cold water, I think about how this simple vegetable will transform into something magical in her hands. It’s more than just a meal, though. Kale soup has become a symbol of Mom’s uncanny ability to sense when I’m not feeling my best. Whether it’s a head cold or just a down day, she seems to have a sixth sense about it.


There have been countless times when I’ve walked into the house after a rough day, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. Before I can even utter a word, the warm aroma of kale soup hits me, a familiar and comforting scent that instantly lifts my spirits. I find Mom in the kitchen, stirring the pot with a gentle smile. The unspoken question in her eyes – “How was your day?” – melts away any defenses I might have built up. But her words would say something simpler, something that spoke volumes: “I made soup. Do you want some?” With every spoonful, all my worries would subside. Any aches I felt physical or otherwise would subside as if by magic.


The pot is already on the stove, a gentle bubble breaking the surface of the broth. Mom adds the kale, and the sizzle as it hits the hot liquid is like applause. She smiles at me, a silent invitation to join in the dance of cooking. I chop the potatoes, the knife finding a rhythm on the cutting board. Mom moves on to the chourico, slicing it into thick coins. The aroma is intoxicating, a spicy promise of the meal to come.


We work side by side, a symphony of small tasks that come together in harmony. There’s a comfort in this routine, a language of love spoken through the sharing of tasks and the blending of ingredients. Nestled beside the pot sits a large glass jar, its label long worn away. Inside lies a jumble of uncolored pasta shapes – the ever-evolving “noodle jar.” This jar holds the remnants of countless pasta purchases, a testament to Mom’s resourceful shopping habits. Elbows one week, tiny polka-dotted pasta the next, sometimes even rogue spirals, or alphabet letters would manage to sneak their way in. My favorite, though, were always the little stars. Adding a handful of these plain white noodles to the pot was like adding a sprinkle of cheer, a tiny constellation waiting to be discovered in each spoonful.


As the soup simmers, we sit at the kitchen table, sipping tea and sharing stories. The steam from the pot fogs up the window, turning the world outside into a watercolor painting. It’s in these moments, surrounded by the warmth of the kitchen and the company of my mom, that I’m reminded of the power of cooking to bring people together.


We weren’t well off, but we knew how to get by. Counting every penny, scouring every sale. We may not have had enough to go on vacations, but we never had to worry where our next meal came from. Thanks to my mom and her mother and grandmother before her. It was a tradition passed down through generations, this art of resourcefulness. They knew how to stretch a dollar, how to turn leftovers into new dishes, how to use every last scrap. Nothing was wasted. It wasn’t just about saving money, it was about making the most of what we had, about creating something delicious and comforting even on a shoestring budget.


This tradition stretches back to the Azores, the windswept islands where my grandmother grew up. By the time she was a teenager, with a spirit as wild as the ocean breeze, she already knew how to make and mend clothing, care for babies; she was one of 18. She could cook, clean, milk the cows, scale and prepare fish, or pluck and prepare a bird. Oh, in case you’re wondering; yes, she even baked. In fact that’s how she meet my grandfather.


One crisp morning, while the tang of salt clung to the air, she found herself in need of a cup of flour. Flour for bread, a simple necessity, yet her family’s pantry was bare. With a deep breath and a fluttering heart, she approached the neighboring farm.

While the story of my grandparents’ meeting may not be exactly what I imagined, the spirit of resourcefulness and the love that binds our family together is undeniable. That spirit lives on in my mom’s kitchen. The random noodles in the jar, the way she used leftover bits of vegetables in omelets, the careful way she saves day-old bread rolls to slice and make toast for the morning – all these are echoes of my grandmother’s story, a testament to the women who came before us.


When the soup is ready, we ladle it into bowls, the kale now tender, the potatoes soft, and the chourico lending a rich depth to the broth. Nestled amongst the vibrant vegetables are the stars and noodles, a playful reminder of Mom’s resourcefulness and the joy she finds in unexpected places. Mom always adds a generous helping of red kidney beans to the pot. They’re my favorite, and with a sly wink, she sometimes mashes a few against the side of the pot, thickening the broth ever so slightly.


We sit down to eat, and with each spoonful, I can taste the history, the love, and the care that went into making it. Cooking kale soup with mom isn’t just about the food; it’s about the bond we share and the traditions we keep alive with every meal. If I am eating kale soup, I feel like I am home. The warmth of the food seeps into my soul, a reminder of the strong women who came before me, the ones who faced challenges head-on and built a legacy of love and resourcefulness, all passed down through a simple bowl of soup.

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Essay 1 Idea post

In the warmth of the kitchen, I stand beside my mom, the heart of our family, as we prepare kale soup. It’s a ritual that binds us, a blend of tradition and love simmering in a pot. The green leaves, fresh and vibrant, await their transformation, a metamorphosis guided by mom’s seasoned hands. 

“Could you wash these?” she asks, passing me the kale. As the water runs over them, I’m struck by the simplicity of the act and the depth of its meaning. Together, we move in a comfortable rhythm, chopping potatoes and slicing chouriço, the spicy scent promising a feast for the senses. 

We share stories over the bubbling pot, the steam painting the windows with memories. When we finally sit to eat, the flavors of the soup are like a hug from within, a taste of home. In this bowl lies our history, our love, and a tradition that nourishes more than just our bodies. Eating kale soup with Mom, I’m enveloped in the essence of home. 

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A review of: “Corn Tastes Better on the Honor System”

The title “Corn Tastes Better on the Honor System,” in my opinion, speaks volumes about food—it’s not just about the taste, but the love, trust, and respect that goes into its growth and sale. Robin Wall Kimmerer’s essay takes us deep into the world of corn, showing us its place in indigenous knowledge and as a symbol of our connection to the earth. 

Kimmerer’s writing opens a window to her soul, and through it, we glimpse our ancestors. She writes, “I hold in my hand the memory of my ancestors in the garden.” This line binds us to the earth and to each other—a balanced partnership. 

Some phrases flew over my head at first, like “the DNA beneath the shiny seed coat.” But Kimmerer’s intent is clear: to illustrate the intertwined growth of corn and people. 

The essay breathes life into corn, elevating it beyond a mere crop. It’s unsettling to realize how distant we’ve become from this connection to our food. Kimmerer states, “They have entered into a covenant of reciprocity: if the maize will take care of the people, the people will care for the maize.” This powerful pact is a reminder of our promises to the land. 

For me, the essay is both a lesson and a story, reminding me of days I spent gardening with my grandfather. He was adamant about avoiding chemicals. He valued the soil’s health as well as our own. He taught me that hard work and balance are vital. We grew and harvested what we needed, shared excess, and wasted nothing. 

Kimmerer’s essay is more than a discussion about corn; it’s a reflection on our role in the world. It urges us to consider our choices and to honor the ancient agreements that defined the sacred bond between humans and the earth. 

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TED Talk on Food

After watching this TED Talk, I noticed that I agree with the speaker. She brought up a point of “shame” and how it can change how we eat. My family, being from Portugal, while not uncommon in our area, did cause me a lot of mixed feelings about the types of food I would eat at school. I was always mindful of where, when, and who I was around when I chose to bring food from home. While most of the food is similar in nature to my American friends, things like lupini’s, a small yellow bean you peel to eat, were always met with “EWE, you eat beans!?! That’s gross!” or Portuguese Cod Fish Balls (also known as Bolinhos de Bacalhau) which are absolutely delicious, deep fried, flavorful balls made with salted cod (or fresh cod), mashed potatoes, onions, and parsley. I would never bring to school to eat for fear of being teased and labeled the “weird kid.” Both of these items are traditional and can be healthy food options/snacks and, for me, an absolute treat filled with memories of when I was younger helping my grandmother in her kitchen. Oddly enough, I also had the opposite at home, pretending not to like American snacks or fast food because “that’s too American” or my personal favorite, “we have food at home!” Looking back, I wish I didn’t feel like I had to “hide” from being Portuguese at school or “hide” from being American at home. All I ever wanted was to eat good food and enjoy being around the people I was eating with. Sharing cultures, food, and stories. For me, that’s the highlight of my week. Sitting at the table with my family, just sharing a meal, talking about everyone’s hectic schedule, regardless if it’s over a hamburger and fries or Arroz de Pato (Duck rice), sharing the old traditional foods and creating memories.

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Introduction


Hey there, fellow wordsmiths!

Let’s guess you, like me, are navigating the exciting (and sometimes mind-bending) world of this classroom. I’m Carley, by the way – a nickname that saves everyone the tongue twister of my real name.

Confession time: crafting essays wasn’t always my jam. More like, I was the queen of the eleventh-hour epic, my pen a blur against the clock. Turns out, that’s the ADHD life, folks! (Wish I’d known that earlier – could’ve saved everyone a lot of headaches.)

But beyond the classroom walls, stories were my escape. I’d fill notebooks with tales of hidden heroes and fantastical lands, characters yearning to be seen or hiding hurt beneath smiles. These weren’t just scribbles on paper – they were secret flights of fancy that took off while I was daydreaming or pedaling my bike through the wind.

Libraries? Practically my second home. Dad, bless his heart, thought copying the dictionary would quiet me down. Little did he know he was arming me with facts that turned me into a trivia-toting terror. (Vovô, that’s Grandfather in Portuguese, always got a kick out of that.)

Now, this blog is a chance to, well, break free from the margins of those notebooks and explore the world of writing beyond the classroom. I might still get a little carried away with my storytelling (warning: marathons, not sprints!), but I’m here to learn, share, and maybe even create something special together. So, grab a metaphorical cup of coffee (or tea, or juice – whatever fuels your creativity!), pull up a chair, and let’s get this writing adventure started!

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